July 3, 2001 — I believe Wiffle Ball players peak at the age of 12. After that, it’s all downhill.
Perhaps physics has something to do with it. The lighter the bat, the lighter the batter, or something like that. I don’t know, I never did very well in science class.
Regardless, I’m convinced I would have been past my prime even a decade ago, when Randy Wike held his first series of Wiffle Ball tournaments in Cleveland.
They were pretty big deals, these tournaments. The last one — which Wike touted as the Wiffle Ball State Championship — drew 30 teams.
“I was making a killing,” remembered Wike, now 39. “I had a concession stand and everything. I was making a lick.”
And the proceeds went directly into Wike’s pocket.
Now, after a 10-year hiatus, Wike’s tournaments are back. And his pockets aren’t seeing a penny. All the money raised from his five Wiffle Ball blowouts this summer go toward sending his 10-year-old son Jordan and the rest of the Cleveland Reds baseball team to Cooperstown Dreams Park in New York next summer.
While there, the Reds will play in a week-long tournament with youth teams from across the country. They will visit the National Baseball Hall of Fame and be inducted into the American Youth Baseball Hall of Fame. They’ll return to Cleveland with personalized baseball cards, new uniforms and an official tournament ring.
“And the rings are, like, real,” 10-year-old Reds player Bart Westmoreland wanted me to know. “It looks like a real World Series ring.”
Bart and I had plenty of time to chat on Sunday. Both of our teams exited the summer’s first Wiffle Ball tourney early. Two games, two losses. See ya later.
Bart — who, by the way, can’t wait to see the Babe Ruth and Hank Aaron plaques up in Cooperstown — agreed with me on my adults-Wiffle-worse theory.
“The little guys, we can hit,” Bart said. “We can hit it in the gaps, and we’re faster than a lot of them.”
Of course, my theory was just a theory, and the two teams that advanced through the 10-team field and into the championship game — East Hall and the Hackers — were composed solely of adults. But just imagine how good those guys were when they were 12!
Wike’s brand of Wiffle is played on the infield of a youth baseball field. Second base becomes home plate, the backstop the outfield fence. Big plastic bats and Wiffle Balls are the only items of equipment needed.
Teams of four — men, women and, of course, children — play three-inning games. And you can score a lot of runs in three innings. Or, and this was the case for the ragtag Times team, you can have a lot of runs scored against you.
Our opening-round opponent East Hall, which featured at least two assistant baseball coaches from East Hall High, put us in a 15-0 hole after one inning and eventually beat us 22-8. Before that long first inning, I hadn’t thrown a Wiffle Ball in several years. So I had plenty of time — much more than plenty, actually — to shake the rust off my curve ball.
After our game, Mike Swords, the East Hall team’s ace pitcher — he can put some wicked english on a Wiffle Ball — watched as other teams played. He had to laugh.
“These little kids are sliding,” the 24-year-old said, shaking his head. “I don’t think we can compete with that. And that kid’s wearing shorts. He didn’t rub it or anything.”
Meanwhile, Ted Jarrard, a big, burly Hall County firefighter, also on the East Hall team, was trying to figure out why his hits had a habit of staying in the infield.
“Wiffle Ball is the ultimate equalizer,” said Jarrard, 28, whose team went on to win the title. “I don’t think I’m going to swing as hard. I think you’re better off if you take a little bit off of it.”
Ah yes, the old saying. Swing softly when carrying a big bat.
“The harder you swing, it doesn’t seem to go as far,” agreed John Krippner, 32, after his Hackers beat The Times 10-3 in the second round. “The little guys look like they’re getting more base hits than the big guys.”
Wiffle Ball was invented in the early 1950s by David Mullany of Fairfield, Conn. Since, it has become an American tradition. I did some research on the Web. Leagues and tournaments are everywhere. There’s even Fantasy Wiffle Ball at www.wiffleball2k.com, an extensive and often hilarious (purposefully, I hope) site dedicated to the backyard sport.
I also found an animated Wiffle Ball game you can access through www.wiffleball.com. I must say, it’s an excellent tool for procrastination when a column is due to the editor. Although I seem to be equally rusty in online Wiffle Ball as I am in the offline version.
But I’m working on that. I think I’m going to recruit some ringers for my next team.
I wonder what Jody Davis and Cris Carpenter are up to. Better yet, maybe I’ll just call their kids.